Friday, October 9, 2009

还剩下什么

haizZzzzZZzzz
gonna re-school again, next Monday,
as usual & expected, 1 week delay absent from the school
"lecture only mah, no need attend de lah~" , my heart told my brain
"oK lah~ follow u!" my brain responded.
now ady adv dip, nothing special
it definite would be harder tougher, all willbe fine
needless to say but i hav said it

my holidays
ermnn.... 1 month
if my mind still working in proper manner
2 times i stepped out my house,
another 28 days, home-stay
if tomorow go out yamcha with frens, it willbe reduced to 27 bah
not much different
everyday sleep at after 3am in the morning
wake up at after 2pm afternoon
such life style... er, no comment
it ady passed & passing now, complaints can be trashed
very stupid if asking wat would i do if i able travel back
i very stupid in the past
ridiculous in indulging myself asking nonconstructive questions
especially to others, if u... wat if ....
Arghhh! tat's Aquarius's characteristic!
in tendency to be perfect by rushing back & imaginative
i wonder sometimes does a constellation make sense or work?
seem tat i wont ever get a satisfied answer
Answer is not important most often, juz like all the wrong answers of eXam in the primary secondary school, i had not much intention to check it out
wat i worried was how many times my palm gonna be beat.
at tat time, my english & malay really suckz,
especially English in primary,
always around 40marks... wtf.. almost the lowest,
2nd lowest bah, or 3rd, i not sure
since above 40 only considered passed, so always struggling at the edge of dying
beat beat beat... my palms..Aiksss!

read a series of storybooks..."幻魔战记"...now reading 异端世纪
pps programme...康熙来了, 百万大歌星...now waiting for 攻心计
tv8 Hokkien programme...真情满天下...
facebooking... pet society & Happy Aquarium... i ady feed many my frens
they are all fish... and im acting as a reptiles, dont know it called

yesterday nitez, i read newspaper
and kowning tat many disasters occurred around the world
honestly
i can't feel the pain as wat they felt
i can't pipe my eyes as wat they weep
not becoz of cool-blooded, as a "follow mind but not heart" person
really hard for them to flood themselves with affection
but i still really really really pity of them
also hoping tat i can help them
not limited to materials but more important, ways of healing their hearts
as a results i composed the the following


《还剩下什么》

像是戏剧般
上一刻我什么都拥有
这一刻什么都没了 都没了
妈妈爸爸 哥哥姐姐 弟妹
还有属于我的家园
是不是 该添上 “曾经的” 较为恰当
可是我没力了 你要什么都拿去好了
我的生命也无所谓
我还剩下什么 因为什么都不剩了
所以无所谓
还有谁能爱我 而我还能爱谁
上帝 你赐予我爱 让我懂得怎样去爱
可为什么要连我爱的目标也给收回
我不想要什么考验
不要变得坚强
能让爸妈 兄弟姐妹 我的孩子们 再... .. .
再... .. .
再一次 让我有机会
再爱一回吗?

————————————————————————————
我不懂得如何写些激励你们的话
虽然这篇文字能给你么的 只能有悲伤
可是我想让你们知道
虽然我不牵涉其中 但我想知道你们的伤痛
想体会你们的感受 盼能借此分担你们的哀伤
可能我不是你们能爱的目标
可是你们一定要知道 既然我能有心写出这片文字
你们就是我关心的目标
而关心 要是我没搞错 应该是源自于爱

希望你们能再爱一回!

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